Last trip on 2011

There are a bit of missing Christmas after going through it. Still waiting for Christ to come.
The Christmas luncheon went successfully. Everyone had a good stomach for it. Pictures taken with Pastor Charles leaving. Everyone miss him too. It quite sad seeing a brother leaving soon.
But we still support his decisions.
After Christmas, me and Edmund had a small trip to Cameron Highland. Planning for 2 days and 1 night after Christmas. It was his first time been there. Leaded him to a stranger place. Hehe..
He couldn't adapt with the condition and temperature there. It was real cold at night. Haha.. At first, he doesn't even thought of bringing jacket. Well, luckily he did.
Went looking for scones, but all closed for holiday. The only scones left was expensive in Bharatea centre. RM16 for 2 scones added with a drink will be RM 22. Yucks! Real expensive makes us not to try.
We just went round and round in the Tanah Rata town looking for tea time food. Guess, we just went to Jasmine Cafe. Expensive cafe as well, but still delicious. Had stomach full and head back to ivory hotel which we paid and book earlier on cost RM 169. Rested and waiting for dinner time again.
This time we went up to Brinjang for steamboat. First thought was to try Charcoal steamboat, but is a little far and expensive as well, we just stay in Brinjang for normal one. See how big is our meal!
Then we head back to hotel. Since there are no activities at night. Edmund just bought a card to play. Ended our night around 11.
Continue our day light next morning around 9++. Check out, Head back to Tanah Rata for breakfast in mamak. Simple and cheap! After food, journeys continue to Kea Farm. To see cactus, flowers, strawberries, bees, and etc.
All after this, we head to Ipoh town to buy back salted chicken for dinner at home. Visited the famous one to buy Lou Poh biscuit and chicken.
The journey continue back home reading GPS, driving fast and slow. Seeing rain here and there, cars along the highway, there be boring and yet is Fun at certain time.
This considering the last trip in 2011. And is the first trip with Edmund alone. At least he been out for first. He knows what he should be planning an doing on trip. Thank God! He grow another year older.

Happy Birthday 26th

my birthday finally is over and I’m 26th on 2012.

 

What a surprise that I grown up again on my age.

Counting days, weeks, months and years.

Times really flies….. There are no way to stop the time. But only when Jesus is here again, he will stop everything.

Now waiting for Christmas! Then his birthday!

 

Indeed I do have a simple yet enjoyable birthday.

Have a small celebration dinner with friends on the 17th. It was actually planned by Edmund. Gathered May Ping, Wendy, Alwyn, Jesny, Seng Wan and his friends. These are considering best buddy for now.

Things had change since I’m not close with my secondary friends anymore. But to keep in mind, my primary friends still remembering my day.

^.^ kINDA happy.

After dinner, we just went for a drink. I propose, Zouk. Then we had a drink in Terrance Bar. Watching clubbers go in and out from the party room. Is quite nice atmosphere actually.

Night ended just that way with friends.

 

On Sunday, is my actual date. I’m the coffee host for this day (18). Preparing scones that I bought from Rachel (Teaffani) everyone loves it. Enjoy the English breakfast with tea. And I’m kinda happy receiving so much good comments from church members.

Well, worth it even though is quite expensive English breakfast which cost nearly RM 370.00. Haha… What to do, is only once a year that I will be the host. I take it as a blessing from the Kindie and from those who take good care of me. After clearing everything, we head for lunch in Scott Garden. seeing cute dogs.. All around. I <3 it.

Lunch while discussing the next week Christmas Luncheon. Had fellowship after that in ‘Teh Tarik’ café with nice environment. Edmund and Andrew ordered me a ice cream cake. Haha.. So many cakes for me in this year. Total 3 cakes. One from Kalai, One from May Ping and Wendy, and last one from YWA.

After Teh Tarik, we went home for a sleep to rest our self. and head to Terence (Edmund’s Squash friend) Wedding dinner. Is happy to see Edmund with his friends. Even some of them known me and my name. They do sang me a birthday song because Edmund said is my birthday as well together with another friend of his birthday.

 

Very good year I guess. Everything goes smoothly. With Edmund saying He <3 me very much. can’t losing me..

Updates

Left only one day for me to be 25th. Yet I wonder what and how would my first term of 26th.

Counting and counting… Day pass fast. It has reach another year end.

 

1) I already resigned from Kindergarten due to management problem.

Just couldn’t take it. Why must management people look upon $$ terms. Sigh… At least I still got another work… Thank God as well because He has granting me this job. Back as a designer.

 

2) relationship with Edmund – still goes up and down… Sometimes good, and sometimes are really bad.

It happen last 2 weeks, argued ended up, chair broken, door spoiled, my Iphone cable broken, tv remote broken (cause by me because I started to throw things first).

It all happen of my heart dissatisfaction. A lot of reasons why. But the most cause me my anger is his attitude of lacking of memory, and doesn’t even bother of things around.

He couldn’t take care of surround. Maybe lack of Focusing?? or Concentration towards my things??

I’ll try to accept it after everything ends in a bad way. And of course, he is asking for leaving. What will I do? Of course I asked him to stay la.

How can I leave without a driver? hahahha… (jokin nia)

 

3) Heart kinda miss a lot of things. Which with him and without him. A lot that I had been left out and leave behind because of him. I have to pull 2 of us equally. And I did my sacrifice.. >.<

Poor me… I should deserve better de ah!!!! Saying like real bad.

 

Well… these are my updates.

 

Happy Birthday Soon!.

Work and relationship

In in the positifnya of dont know what to say. I'm kinda confused, stress and lost in my life. All related to work and relationship. What's more? Only these always come. Here I felt my challenge, my difficulties in life.

Work : kindie has been delaying my request appraisal. I have asked for rm1200 for my basic. Then they just try to give me hope, till ended up they gave me one lumpsum of rm1200.

I guess, is better that I leave because of transport problem and the admin work of which will be loaded because I have also be taking principal's work.

Relationship : on behalf of this, I really speechless. All that I required to to take effort to know my situation, understand me, and to take care of me.

But he kept on mentioning of my past! A difficult challenge! He want his request on me to be done! how of mine? Mine are simple compare to him! I didn't ask for past! If I can, I won't be who I am today! I really hope to slap him at certain times. I wonder how and why I still love this kinda of man.
For everyone is like wasting time. I knew I can't compare because all these were chosen by me. Sigh...
Always say didn't ask for argument but indeed he himself raise up his word first. What can I say? Smile with you everyday then u be good? Or u will listen? Remember you are not kids! Kids can cheer me up by every single moment but I wonder why.... I guess I have to accept the fact.


Over all are chaos!!!

Bullying

At one very moment, I feel like crying. It seems everything trying to bully me.

Eg; the bus driver just told me, they won't pass by infront of house for 10 days. I was like, WHAT?? how am I going to walk everyday? And further more when I told him I'm stopping by behind, he just send me to the nearest bus station which is another side of the flat which is far away from house. How can it be? They didn't announce it.

My tears comes quickly. I felt the world has been abandon me.
Another case was Edmund case. How can he check on my phone again. This time more worse. He threw the phone, blamed it to me and scolded me with harsh word. How can I forgive him. His jealousy is getting more and more. How do I need to face him? Tolerate? Trying to let him do what he thinks is right? By then, I'm like a barbie doll! What am I for?

Everything trying to bully me. I'm hurt, sad and sick of all these. I can't take it anymore!!

God please help me, this little girl of yours need solution to the answer.

Sad Journal life

Fall/slip on floor

Well, long time didn't post anything here. Guess everything has been the same as usual. Life with Edmund is just part of argument and good @ peace.

This time is a big thing that happen to impact my life and my body. I slip felt and had a knock on my head. Is considering quite serious because I felt I had 2 blackout without seconds. I still manage to realize what is happening to me. But the main cause of fall, it might be bags laying around the floor by some kids. It also part of my hurries to cause me to fall. The moment I felt, I couldn't even stand at once. But still consider lucky because I still could sit down and to think that I couldn't faint. It will just give a shock to kids.

The moment of it, I really could feel the pain on my head. The knock really impact me. Went for immediate doctor check up. Doctor said, if I didn't feel dizzy or vomit I don't need to go for CT scan.
So far, it didn't happen to me till 630pm which is now since this morning. I scared, I'm just try to avoid it to happen even the dizziness. Anyway, I know a lot of people has been helping and caring for me. It is really glad that I realize there are bunch of people still willing to care for me no matter what. Is really glad to know. May God will continue to heal and look after after me. Everything is by faith. God is my strength yet my provider.

hate in heart

how painful I am once again. Where he scold me again.

For me, yes I knew what mistake I had done. But is just to notify him as he want me to before. Yes… The word stupid might be painful for him to accept. But y cant he really look on the other view that he is indeed are.?? Im not trying to judge a person. From the way, he really are… calling him stupid I knew hurt him. But I just want him to be  aware of  it.

And those stuff I had been repeating over and over, making him said me as talking too much. Mumbling here and there like an old lady. U think I want it? I don’t want too. I prefer to keep my mouth shut as ever.

Yes, I made the decision of letting go of everything. Things he want to do, I just let him do. I wont say extra. He ask, I just give a simple and answering yes and no. I wont give so much suggestions. More I talk, the more I got scold. Thanks to all my talking……… I got scold.

And he just so egoistic. I hate that. Well…. Let him be until he will turn back and say sorry after all hard way he will been going through. U like pain in the ass, I will let u have it.

Part of people slapped me, just go ahead.! yea! people slapped me.So what? Y must u keep on repeat people past? Funny? I got U! U like to provoke people using their past and prove that u are right. Go ahead! because u are the loser, who can’t do the best for your own self!

argument still move on..

Long time didn’t update here. Been a month?

 

Well, argument still does happen. This is the second time where I hit him. and it is a real big fight.

I thought everything was going fine, yet, still the same old shit of adding back him in FB, and guys who called me.

I wonder why will he be so jealous of it. I really want to know what is the wrong with not adding him in FB. Just because he want to get recognize as my BF to my whole world?

Or he want to do it on purposely to compare with others? How others do, we also should be doing it also?

Why must he think of his own? He never thought of me? How I got scared by his last attitude where he deny and still saying he won’t act like last time where He will comment on my Wall and even my guys friend wall?

I really no idea.

Why does him need to care of my friend who wanna ask me out? He should know that I hardly go out  with any guys especially those he didn’t trusted. Only when he is willing not to get angry or even jealousy, I will bring him go together to meet my guys friends. Why he behave so naïve?

If he love me, why won’t he behave like an open minded man? Why must make himself like loser, where I felt he want to show people his POWER and EGO whereby, he can’t do and act like a man.

I really frustrated with all these. I don’t know how long as I could bear all these pain alone, all by myself.

If I don’t protect myself I hardly could voice out next time.

Shut up will kills me, talk more, it hurts me…

Pls God show me how to do…

Im in lost mood.

I really want to release all my stress, but I can’t.

I’m sorry as well for hitting him because I felt I’m defenseless. I’m so weak.

HELP…..

Life with Edmund sickness

Sometimes I'm quite mad about you, but sometimes,I wonder why I love you so much. A week before, we had quite a big fight. Is all related about 3rd party and sort of some my past which happen after me and him break up.
But is all over now.

Yet today is another where his sickness came. I dont know what to do. With pocket quite empty though still can survive till end month, but I still worried of him. He began to feel it yesterday and when I saw him after work, he began to feel tired with sleepy look and with big flu going on.
Actually, I insisted him to look for doctor. But he kept on rejecting. I wonder what I can do besides waking up in the middle of night to check his temperature and to wipe off his body heatness that start this morning.
No matter how hard it is, I will still try my best to take cRe of him because he is one and only person I couldn't afford to lose.

Argument

Unexpected things happen today. As everything went quite smoothly for 4 days. But it happen on the 4th night. I’m kinda surprise to see what had happened. Old things still remain in the old body. The attitude of forgiving and the power to grab hold and worried still there. It really make me see how he did.

In every conversation ended me with a smile but this make me frown. I couldn’t even smile and say anything. It all bounced back to me… All the things happen, sms, communication with friends, social networking such as fb, and twitter makes a person jealous and worried. I have refrained myself from doing it so much yet it still the same results.

Do less, gets words. Do more, also gets words. Why don’t I do it more?

But I can’t. Because what I did, I do care for him. But he did not realize it. How could it be? How could he always lock himself up in the box and not setting himself free to look things at all better view?

Without judging, pointing fingers, without mentioning what I should do where by I’m more conscious of the situation , all these could end up with a SMILE.

But with these, I really can’t.

And I’m wondering, which blog should I put into all my these feelings.

GRUMPINESS, SADNESS, and LOVE

Hike on Bukit Saga

Sat, filled with Happy morning, as it was my only holiday for the week, I went out hiking with my buddies. We were planning for a simple outdoor activities that to fill our time and enjoy fellowship.

Went to Bukit Saga instead of any other place which were far. This is my first time there. It was quite a hard job as long time I did not do such hardcore activities. In MAPs, were different, Broga were easier and less and shorter route. But this Bukit Saga, there are few route to follow. It just made us to a simple one as our first time.

We follow a route where more people intend to follow. Quite tough for certain area as no rope to hold on. My fear was height. Yup… For first, I’m afraid of it. But I steady my self because I know the Lord is there for me. My faith has lead me thru every circumstances. Luckily I was with my buddies which we look after on another.

After reaching up the summit, as we all know, there is a waterfall.. Just like in FRIM. We head to our another journey to get our satisfying feel to see waterfall.

Is indeed, a great time there. Up and down hill. Obstacles… Then WATERFALL…!!!!

Cold and good place though is crowded. Is worth. We just watch the nature.

After the waterfall, we head back our trip back to the summit of Bukit Saga. It took us quite a long journey back there, but the road is smooth not much obstacles like up and down hill. Just puddle of mud.

When upon reaching, we were happy to reach at least we could have a rest before going down hill again.

Yup indeed a good day to hike. It took us about 5 hours for first time.

It really come to me that I became to blog lesser. Is because life doesn’t excite much?

Maybe……

Now a days, I try so hard to find meaning of life. How to enjoy my life…

Till the end, I go club to Zouk more often because of my membership that I could enter for free.. Is just a visit and some music to bang my mood. Then head home. Didn’t drink most of the time.

Till Sunday, I went to church. To felt God present. I knew He is there. There for me so much…

Friends, not been contacting much, because I believe, everyone have their own busyness. So I would rather stay home alone and face computer doing some work, or even play games or sleep.

That is what I been doing all the time. Nothing change.

And new job in Heguru, things are getting better. More getting use with what I am doing… More familiarize.

But I just dislike my work in Vista. Maybe just 4 walls. But I will try to adapt my life. It might be slightly change as well…

Thinking. Pondering. Is all about heart feeling..

is now the month of May. And I’m kinda dilemma with things on my mind. As 2 years coming in 2 months time. I wonder how would I be, how would I act, how I contact him, all these has been running in my mind. Is unsolved. But the a year has passed since last year of this date 9/5/2010, I tried and requested him to be back with me. I guess, is also 2 years before, the same thing happen.

 

Is ok… I’m happy with what I have now just lack of some love. God said, be patience and wait. And the day will be arriving soon. How much changes he has been and how much he realized he was wrong in his past doing. I really wonder… Y God want me to proposed this 2 years of patience, would it because of LOVE? What happen if it is not going to happen to be a pleasant way? What am I gonna do. Smile and leave? Knowing and accepting new  guy?

I really ponder….

Injust watched a new movie named "Don't Go Breaking My Heart." This movie talk about a girl who met with 2 man at the same time. She was heart breaking at first when she met these 2 man. The first man was a beggar architect of which it is his look only. The second was a boss which is opposite her working building.

The story is more to love and yet mention 11 best man on earth and 1 is a bad guy who would think of others.

I just love the story line of this movie. It really impressed me that what kind of man will there be on this earth. Wondering will I be meeting such a good guy which is the 11 best man on earth comparing the rich yet fluffy guy. Really love the story.
Hehe... Will be praying hoping I could get someone who are really faithful to me, not hurting me, and willing to do anything for me. :D

Lots of words…

There are too many things happen, yet im lazy to blog and to write down.

There happen an incident where by my car key drop straightly down the lift gap . It was consider a bad day with a morning start. At first I thought to leave the house earlier to LRT, and to reach work place for breakfast and relax, but all ended up I’m late to work and I even got frust because I dunno what I should be handling in Heguru as an assistant teacher. Well, ntg I could elaborate more because is more than a week.

And this week I received a surprise call from Heguru mentioning that I will be train as a Sensei at least 3-5 months. At first, they mentioned to me, I will be trained as assistant for 3-6 months. Was that a lie?

And I was thinking, is this a good chance for me to continue to work there, or is just temporary. Wonder, wondering and wonders…

Herm… And today went for farewell dinner with Canken family.. They are going to migrate to there. As a farewell, we had seafood. And Kimberly is cute!

Even most of all, Edmund has been calling me again and again starting onwards on this week. What the hell… Always say sorry is no use. No use saying it with mouth and not doing what he is suppose to do. Go and find a work la. Is he that stupid like an asshole? that was really SHIT TALK!

New changes in 2011

I had already found myself a new part time job that is Heguru based in Midvalley Signature Office. They required me to wok on Saturday and Sunday. and they did intro me a new place as well in Vista Komanwel, a care taker, of which I know as same Job as last time.

I already started work in Heguru and the job is tough. It makes feel nervous for things to be prepared to hand it to teacher in fast time. Imagining 50++ things in an hour. I made a good attempt for first try, according to the teacher. Not only that, my working hour is tough for me as well. I don't really get to rest in my weekend. Say by money. But whole total income is not more than 2k. Sigh...
What to do le? No choice..
I also found a new church which I can attend to that is Calvary. Is Joshua Kanesan church. oh well, is a good church after all. Hopefully I could make it at time next week. As the timing of KTM always late. hate it very muchy!!!
For now on, I should really divide my time properly just fo my own Sabbath time.
I'm really sorry to God because of my new changes, I face difficulties in having Sabbath. May God could forgive me. I will try to attend Church service and cell group.
I believe there won't be tiredness in me if I seek the Lord first. "Seek ye first the kingdom of God and everything will be granted unto me". ^.^
Good night...

blank-ed

I’m suppose have much to say, but once I opened the writer, I’m total blank.

My current situation is, I’m dead bored in the house. Sigh… And also listening the song, Goldfish And Blink Feat. Altimet & ZE! - In The House. DEAD BORING!!

Find friends, don’t know who to find. Though to go jog, but who willing to go? Cause is late already. No choice but stay home.

Last Fri, when asking for outing with Mike, May Ping, Kit Yeng and Wei Yee in Times Square, I saw the squash court in the middle of the court. My mind start to think, he will be there. And I just can say, I’m total miss him as a person who are so enthusiastic in squash as a player or someone who can made his mind in it. Why le? --- Blank!

So happen he sms me on Sat, mentioning can he call me and talk to me. The best solution I could think of is the same. Ignore him maybe till July, as our promise ended there. He did called me after that, but yet I didn’t pick up as well. And he left a message in the voicemail, saying how much he regretted and knowing his mistake. I wonder, will it be true that he truly understand what he had been said.

But I do miss him.

Beastly

This is about a movie name as above. Without any preview, trailer, or any comments heard, I went to watch this movie. This movie sounds gave a lot of weird and even hard to understand IMPRESSION.It sounds rude, violent to the movie. But totally, it was not.

Is all about young teenager in college life. A boy got famed because of the father who works as a broadcaster and some fame person. And thru this, the boy, became proud, and boastful even unrespect for friends. Among them, there is this witch girl which mention by this boy. He made fun of all of the girls to be made gf, even this witch who looks gothic. But this witch managed to cast a spell or magic upon this boy. And he has changed to become someone who are ugly.

To his ugliness, he has to find someone whom love him by pronouncing the word “I Love You” to him. The look of his now, making him sad and self confident has been lowered. He could not believe everything he got is just a zap away. There goes his pride and comes humility.

But throughout it, he found someone whom he can love and someone who love him. He put his heart into knowing a person’s heart of what do they need and want.

Outcome of it, he changed his look back to the handsome him. It was quite a good story which  copy exactly like Beauty and the Beast.

This is a total encouraging movie for couple. Rating it 8/10.

New Job, New Changes

A job from Midvalley, Heguru has called me up for interview last week. And they promised to hire me as a part timer as assistant teacher. And I got the offer.

The only thing which I’m still worried was my Sabbath day and my weekend to serve God in Girls’ Brigade ministry and MAPs. This is my utmost worried of serving as it takes me half of my day. And suddenly, it just blocked because of this job. Maybe I should have a try on working on this job. If it is a good offer, I will continue to work on this and there goes bye to Ministry in Kindergarten. But of course, I don’t just look at the salary only. I do also look forward to serve God. That is my most priority.

Thinking badly, but is good also as I been asking around, which church could accommodate my time to be in Sunday Service. Gladly, Joshua, is the first person whom I thought of as a christian friend. He suggested his church which he goes also the same time. Is a Young Working Adult Service. Praise God that it start at 5pm. I still can go home and change. God has been good to me.

Heguru did call me again today, to notify me to come work on next Wednesday which is on 16 March. Glad I’m hired just in time.

Everything is in His hand.

Disappointment in getting a job

Mum has disappoint me in the job that I ought to take. At first, I thought this job 8-12am might start and by hopefully, I could earn some money for my studying and also for the things I wanna buy. But right now, I don’t think I can. Just because of her reason, that she can’t be home early by 7. She explained saying this is her working time. This and dat. It makes me frustrated!! Because I think, her reason is not reasonable. How could she still working when her working hour is over? And, before 6, why not she pack her stuff and leave at 6? Why must she wait till 6, only start to pack up?

What kind of bullshit it is? Just said it, if she doesn’t want me to work there!

I really hope to get a sum of money which can help in my own studies or in the things that I want to buy.

 

But now, it is all hopeless!!!

 

If God is good, let me find a job which suit my working hour and even a good income salary please…

>.< I’m really out of way. I don’t wish to be tempted.

Hair cut day

Out of sudden, I just wanna cut my hair short. Out of no big surprise to me, out of curiosity, or things that syok-en me.

I just wanna cut my hair.

When I go to Charren, the expectation was, having Beatrice to do my hair. But Ivy was free, so I get her to do it for me. Yea… She is a good hairstylist, I also do mean to all da people in there. I’m very satisfying with my hair cut. And also with that, I also straighten up my hair, Rebond it. RM160 for a short hair plus hair treatment and etc.

Totally, I paid RM220 for 60 extra for hair’s vitamin and oil.

I do really happy with my hair right now. I never felt so easy with short hair, of which, long time I didn’t try to make it short. Most of all, thanks to Tiffany’s hair that she used to have last time that encourage me to cut such a hairdo.

 

Luv it so much!!

Investment

it was indeed a good day.

After work, I went to maybank to enquire about the gold investment. I have opened up an account book. And my sis did encourage me before. And it took some part of my angpow money which is from my dad.

Well, well… The money belongs to him, but sis insist me to keep it for my self for Gold Saving. Yea.. Might be a right choice as gold price always increase.

Before, when I look at it, it was 138.05. And it rise up to 140.02 in just 2 days. Sigh… Pathetic me that I didn’t go earlier.. But is ok, because I start to save through it because I knew I can’t save it through normal banking saving.  And I also realized that I start to open an maybank account in year 2003. 8 years has passed. Indeed, no saving in it. Haha…. what kind of person in me.

From now on, I won’t even waste my money on unnecessary stuff. I hope so. Will put a list, in keeping tract on what I have bought and what I hope to buy.

Most of all, I wan have taken a job as a part time whisky promoter. I’m still in a stage to considerate to do or not, until I get another job which can pay me in higher price. Is all about saving for my course to study.

Should have save money last time. Then I don’t need to waste my effort for now, to earn more money. Sigh….

2011 good year?

This is a good year for couple-ing? LOL.. Indeed, I am glad to see everyone found a new relationship.

Yeah… Church already got 3.

Friends, at least 4.

And myself? Being single still the best for the moment. I did not found someone who I cast upon, someone whom I could count on. Neither I am involved in any open relationship. My mind still remain the same as 2 years plus. Well well.. time really flies. Here I am this year 26. I guess is time for me to look for more financial income than being into relationship. Because I know that God will provide me in every single details like love, secure, companion ship and etc. He is my source of strength now that I could rely on.

Sounds so Holy? What do u expect? Just because U don’t know me personally with heart. Indeed, no one could replace God. He is always my FIRST priority since last 5 years.

wordless

Technorati Tags: condolense

words hardly utter from mouth since grandma pass away.

Miss her… I do cry. Though is a normal things to happen.

Well.. Family has been very uniting in every single sense. And I could really see, how much do they love another.

It all end with happy ending

CNY 2011

i indeed had a great Chinese New Year of makan…. with family.
It all started in reunion dinner on tuesday night in Tai Tong Restaurant, Cheras. The food there was expensive costs RM688 on 10 adults. That was real expensive. But is all paid by Uncle James (Ah Yee husband). He was kind.
And like traditions, all of them gave ang pow on the same day. Yeah.. First ang pow of the year was from them.

The first day of CNY, as usual, ah yee and mum head to Kuala Selangor to ah yee in-law place and left me alone at home.. :) Think back last year, it was together with valentine’s day. Fetching mum and sis to Sg Long early in the morning. Had breakfast O’ Town breakfast there. Big plate breakfast for me cause ordered extra. After breakfast, say bye to them… I realise that I should go home. I mean back to grandma’s house to look for grandma, and others. Though my heart say, I don’t wanna meet him. But I still go because of grandma and aunt is there.
Head back there, seeing grandma is still healthy. In house of course is better than hospital but still the host that put in her nose is still a pain for her. And i did some packing in the old room and realise, it was so dirty and it looks like a rubbish dump to me. :P Cleaned up some of my old stuff, throwing things, and even carry back the computer to my house to do reformat because of stupid validation on windows.
Then uncle asked me whether wanna go to 2nd aunt house and I say yes! Just to meet others family members. Yup.. I did had a great there to spend some time with them, lepaking, and even gambling there. Didn’t win money, but is fun to sit around the table and get closer with them.
Then I was all alone the whole evening, to fix computer, had some time to clean up house again. Then I was out again with friends for movie time. This time going for “I love Hong Kong”. A laughter movie. Sweet because there are lots of actor and actress.
Last but not least, today a simple day for me.. Woke up around 12, thanks to those fireworks that woke me. Then, clean up the house again.. Having time delay this and that, lasted for few hours and I’m at kupoh house to meet mum and sis. Then dinner at Goldenboat Restaurant, where the restaurant was opened by Aaron Chock’s dad.Saw his dad working in the restaurant.. So hardworking family. The food here is much more better than Tai Tong food. =)

watched shaolin movie. at first is all about fight, normal wars but it is not. in this movie is all about human life of getting revenge, seeking prosper, fame and etc. yup.. is all about hatred as well.

yea.. remind me of someone again of how hard he wanted all his need without realizing and caring needs of other people. yea.. is u. the one who reads it. u know who u are.

from the beginning your heart is like Nicholas Tze, the bad general. Killing the innocent, doing things which harms other feeling. So much of just selfishness. But the most important is where he learned to surrender himself once Andy Lau was injured just because to save him. He only then felt the love that has been pour out, the sacrifices which others made. Till the moment Andy died, he only realize what he's done is wrong.

I just don't want the same thing happen. But I'm glad that u asked me to watch this movie and making it realize that you need to let go. Is nit part of love, but is part of dissatisfaction and grudges, or hatred.

I'm glad indeed. ^^

Ephesians 4:31 (New International Version, ©2011)

31 Get rid of all bitterness, rage and anger, brawling and slander, along with every form of malice.

 

 

:) Indeed yes. The Lord has provide me a life that needs to be happy!

wonder y i always get the blame and become victim for people to accuse me. This is so boring…

Granny

today, it makes me feel like going back to the past. Where I think of my grandma, the way she nag me, scold, care, love, giving money, giving food, being independent, and the part telling stories to me. I actually felt quite sad and wanting to cry to see her lying on the bed, emotionless, and cant talk. She is like my source of encouragement  and strength. She really gave me a lot of courage to do things that I want. She is part of supportive.

I somehow remember how she ask me to go to hospital check up for the heart. She don’t even want to disturb the whole family members to accompany her to hospital by requiring people to fetch or dropping her off. She insisted me to go hospital with her alone, using public transport, and cab to reach to hospital. If i’m not mistaken that time I was not less than 15 years old. It was more than 10 years ago. And she probably aged 70++.. She is a good fight. (Yea, according to Suet Yin) How me and her waited in the hospital to take the number for check up. Sometimes, it might ended taking number in the morning but have to return back in the afternoon for it. How silly the hospital is. But grandma always waits patiently. Chatting with people around, with me and nurses, though her bahasa is not good. I still remember how pain she was when the doctor poke her finger or at the arm just to test blood. That time, I felt horrible and sympathy by having those pain. Even my heart was painful to see her being poke that way. But I did ask her, she just said, “is just for a moment.” How awesome is she…

I also remember how she used to told me stories about her own self when I was really young. She told about her life, her love with grandpa, her most golden time when she had a gold teeth. And she is so pretty when she was young.

For now, I only get to be back to visit her when she got sickness. I felt so terrible. But this is all I could do. I couldn’t go and face my idiotic father, who seems never appear before in hospital. Because I never heard his name once when Aunt Mei didn’t mention about his name. But I am just fine and I knew my 2 sis will go and visit her.

I guess, I should go early before dawn tomorrow just to see what I can do. and though is a rush for me, but nothing is much more rusher than my grandma.

confused heart

has receive news that grandma has admitted into hospital due to stroke. But I haven’t got time to visit her yet. Planning tomorrow if it might. But i guess, i couldn’t make it as well… Need to rush to MOE. SIgh…

But thank God that He knows I’m tired, mayb this is the time for me to rest at night. But I felt sorry because I can’t do my best to do all this for the sake of Aunt Connie. It might drag her time to late to submit the SPK update form. But I guess I will try to make my best to finish it up on time though is all typing. Will do my best.

And about grandma, I still dunno if it will be alright for me to go and see her. Sigh… Been praying hard and hoping she will get better. >< Crossing fingers….!!!

Love of God

This is much like the mother of a newborn baby. She has already sacrificed much of her life and personal ambitions to the life of the child before it is ever born, but after the birth the sacrifice continues. Each time the baby cries, the mother is disturbed from much needed sleep. Hours are spent giving often, regular feedings. Messes are cleaned up. Clothes, diapers, sheets and so forth are in the washing machine continually. She hovers over the little baby and gives it a protected environment. Sometimes she is so tired she thinks she will collapse. She loves the baby with a love that she cannot describe in words. But do you know something? That newborn baby does not love her! That’s right….

That baby doesn’t love anybody really…. unless it would be itself. But she begins to work on the problem right away. She coddles, hugs, kisses, rocks, and coos over the baby. She gives it constant attention. And then one day, she is greatly rewarded when she hears it say, “Mommy, I love you.” My friends…. that little short sentence make all the tiring effort seem worthwhile.

Jesus washing feet

a week passed. And I had a great story about Jesus who wash His disciples legs. This is to show how much He loves us, and just to humble himself as a King to serve us by washing our feet. His act remind me of slaves who work for their master.

Serve and you will be serve.

And another story in the bulletin about mother. It was indeed another story which touched my heart deeply because of my past. Rather I could say, I nearly cry. ><

Will publish it tomorrow. As it will be a long day ahead for Monday.

……………

Is ok tamie :)

I'll handle it myself then.

thanks for the advice.

take care.

Tamie, i really hope to meet you.

If you're not a cold heart person, please, grant me this wish, let me meet you and talk with you.

I really need a pair of ear of yours.

There's no one else i could talk with beside you.

Hope you'll call me when to meet up.

Will be waiting for your reply.

Thanks and regards,

Edmud

geez...

why must u explain so much if u're not willing to see me? is becos u still cares for me, i know :)

i said i'm sorry at previous mail about accusing or whatever.

thanks for ur time again

 

Thanks for taking granted on me as in, I reply once, i must always reply u and helping you out as well. I wont help. As u said above, do it la… N summo, always find things to argue when i don reply u or picking up the call. Who am i actually? well, i just thought of myself in your perspective, im just a toy where, u like u dump, u leave, u kick, u scold, and even talk crap.

Well well… i dont want to reply because i could not even bear to see how much u hurt me by ur “Caring” words. Haha… infact, is bullshit from some one who have physcology mental. Oh yea! Get to know your own character first. Thanks for hurt me again with stupid reason u gave yourself. Ask yourself, are u worth to judge or assume or saying other people when u have physcology problem.

All written is just a reminder for such a person like u. Know your wrong and your aim before u start talking about people.

Boasting of tomorrow

James 4 : 13-17

investment advice

A stock market consultant recently suggested, “People should always sell when they have a better place to put their money.” While true, the challenge is recognizing when one place is better than another, which, of course, no one can identify with any level of certainty. I typically respond to this sort of financial advice with a resounding “Duh! No kidding?” It’s like telling investors to buy low and sell high. Please tell us something we don’t already know.

Jesus once gave a crowd of people some fresh “advice.” He said, “If you try to hang on to your life, you will lose it. But if you give up your life for My sake, you will save it” (Luke 9:24). I doubt there were few, if any, in the crowd who said. “Well, duh.” Instead, most stood there scratching their heads, thinking, Huh?

Although Jesus drove home this thought on more than one occasion (Matthew 16:25; Luke 17:33), it’s not exactly the kind of advice people hear every day. And while it caused them to stop and think, those who truly heard Him understood He wasn’t talking about holding on to our physical life. The word Jesus used for “life” is the word psyche, which is the Greek word for the soul. He was referring to our inner life and clinging solely to our own efforts and plans to secure it. In essence, Jesus was saying that without Him, joy and meaning will slip through our fingers.

Self-reliance is a poor investment to hold on to because it never works out the way we think it should. And it prevents us from discovering the life our souls crave in a friendship with Jesus and living for His purposes (John 15:15).

What might you be hanging on to that you need to “sell” in order to find your life in Him?

 

From ODJ

want to know the truth?

want to know the truth?
sex

Q : Is using sex to get what I want all that bad?
A : Yes. First of all, sex us not a "strategic move," like in a game. It is so much more. God created sex for a husband and wife. It is a powerful part of their commitment, love and intimacy.
Secondly, sex is way too powerful to "use" to get what you want. Outside of marriage it can easily "backfire" on you, resulting in emotional letdown, guilt, an unwanted pregnancy or many possible disease. For best results - save it for what it was made for!

It is your choice..

• There's a lot of confusion about sex. But God's plan is clear. He made sex for a husband and wife. This is physical union is part of the commitment these two people share.
• God's desire is for you to be pure in every area of your life, including your sexuality.
• If you make the choice to wait to have sex until you are married, you will find that God is in the business of keeping you pure and helping you out when you are tempted. He offers strength and places in your heart the desire to do what's right.
• If you have already had sex outside of marriage, God is in the business of second chances. He offers forgiveness and a fresh start.
• If you have been forced to have sex, God is in business of restoring what has been stollen from you. He offers healing and freedom from the pain of the past.
• Fill up a consent form to remind of your promise to God as a sign of commitment of purity.

this is the day that the Lord has made, I will rejoice and be glad in it. oohhh....

this is the day I receive news that my sister Sheryn is in love and she is with a guy called Terry Chee. 22 years old. same working company with her.. haha.. this is the details that I know. Hoping and wishing her the best in finding a good guy, and best of hope that this guy won't play play with her feeling. >.< sort of like seeing my sister leaving Tim. choi!!! I'm glad! there are lots of things been happening around lately. there are good and bad in every situation. it does lead me to pain and heartache. Joy will be there if I seek it. N I'm happy because the Lord is always be with me where ever I go. He won't hurts me! Galatian 3:12-16 forgetting what lies behind and strife forwards to the goal which God had called me to heavenward. Hope I can do it!! >.< I'm in pain

u are just a friend

first post 2011

This is the first post of my 2011. NY has pass by, and people been making resolutions to the things that can't be made or fulfill. But I have not been touch on my resolution yet because I did make one during December.

The third day of NY is a school start day as well. Seeing all bipedal and even teenager in Lrt, how joyful it is goin to school especially those who just move on to form 1. I do see my sister as well as she wore on her first secondary school uniform. Come to think of it, it is also the first day which I don't need to go back to house 20.
Em... what to do now? income decrease Liao. sigh!! But will go and look for job later. don't worry because God will provide a way.
TO come to think of it, I didn't felt any happiness during NY. Due back to the same thig happen again. I really wonder why. It is like a time bomb machine that explode anytime. If een is not that case, it really make me sad each and every time he said something which judge me, a promise not fulfill, say for the sake of saying - didn't think before wanting to say. it really make me look like an idiot who have to follow what he try to say and do towards me. what am I? u want a happy relationship, it is based on two person happiness. But u didn't see what my heart wants but u keep on persist what you want. Till make me like an stupid foolish people who have to tolerate you because u got sickness? NO! I don't even wanna tolerate anymore because u are just being selfish on your own and did not think of what your friend feelings. Good to you because u screw up everything.

Ephesians 5:1-10