Thought 2

Sometimes I really wonder and worried, do I have a good relationship? I doubted each time when I'm alone especially on weekend. 

It just out of my control to have this thought. It started with freedom, and slowly, I began to felt lonely. 

His working life has totally taken out a lot of our time. Especially weekend. When he is at work, I've been worry for his safety. When he is at home resting, I felt jealous because he spent too much time to rest instead of looking for me. Is this normal? I hardly have time to spent the day to be like normal couple to go for dating with him. With him sometimes, feel like just a companion when I needed. He totally doesn't have it in his mind to spend time with me. All he does is just work for the company. I really have a hard time to think, what am I to him? 

Hopefully all these are my negative side of thinking. But I couldn't resist to look for him. I failed to let go of looking for him. Maybe I should have try hard to leave him more 'alone' with his resting time in so, I could get much appreciated? 

Haha... All coming back to me... A shitty feeling.

1.1.2015

The last day of 2014 has came to an end and first day of 2015 just started. I started to write in early morning because got awake by nature call. Is good to think of some thoughts to write up. 

Days has came to an end as well in my relationship. Sigh.... An occasion to break up or to celebrate. Wonderful or sadness? No one could tell because is like a burden that suddenly unloaded from my shoulder. Maybe God is right and I'm just fighting with Him on the path I'm seeking. God gives me more hint@guide to walk in the correct path as you teach me more to be your child. 

Here I filled my first page of 2015.