A piece of Living Clay

I took a piece of raw clay,
And idly fashioned it one day;
And as my fingers pressed it still
It moved and yielded to my will.

I came again when days were past,
The piece of clay was hard at last;

The form I gave it still it bore
And I could change that form no more.

I took a piece of living clay,
And gently formed it day by day;
And moulded it with imagination art,
A young child's soft and yielding heart.

I came again when years were gone,
It was a woman I looked upon;
The form I gave her still she bore
And I could change that from no more.

i started it again. non stop tears.

being hurt again n again. it seems like i do wrong in every time i post comments or updating myself through fb or msn.

y must i be counter attack? y must i cry?

reasons: because im in real pain n hurt

tiredness always drag me to sleep till late. but still come to blog. is friday. last day of school again. wish to be real happy when see people around.

time to school!!

Grief

is the first day since my phone pass away. having my grief of it through out the day.. there is 2 person who can see my moodiness.. one asked me “are you not feeling well”, i did say yes deep in my heart, i feel sad. another asked me, “R u sick?” I just reply no. And i nearly lost my voice due to cry last night. It was really an experience to me where something died in front of me. I just couldn’t take it even is just an item. I really dunno wat to do without it.

 

Buy new one? – No money, no mood to do so, no time.

This is the 5th year, im holding this phone. It was so precious to me. Never thought of buying another one to replace it. was bought by my ex as a gift for me. Thrown by people before, Smashed the plastic glass, changed to new one. Cover is so badly spoilt, but still not changing it. What 4 i keep it till, i cant lose it.

My cries

I dunno y am i crying over things on certain small matter. I really dunno…

My heart is ache. With sword piercing in and out from my heart.

Blames, words full of harsh, irresponsible attitude, promise breakable, uncontrolling character and etc is flying around me.

I felt so much pain, agony, and even stress when facing daily activities. While other think, “just sit and stand and more is speak”. How much are you face throughout in other daily life? Or did u ask, how are u feeling today? Or caring of people, are u tired today? No is the answer! The most is, “i want this, i want that. Would u be available on …….?” Calling non-stop when not replying. Making u feel miserable.

I really feel stress in daily loads work. And adding this kinda stress, i really could not take it. Do u love one another? No. If u love them, u won’t do such things to make them feel sad, and even feel stress over things that is so small matter. But instead, you will make the other person feel delight, joyful and happy. And will be cheer up if you calls or reply.

Another stress i’m really adding to is that, i thought my phone could at least last till this mid year. But badly… it died off… As in can’t on it back. I really feel sad about it It was my life source for these few years. Something being with me all these hard years. Because of the calling non-stop incident, my phone died off… And i hardly could on it. I cant believe i did cry also for the phone the second time in my life.. :’(

 

I cherish all my stuff..:’(

The upmost was

“...
up to you
i know la...you busy ma...
who am i to you...no one...others is more important”

 

y on earth am i treated so badly.. I was thinking on Jesus life. When he been through persecuted. Y men wan to do such things towards him. Blaming him, throwing stones, denying him and sorts. Y do i have to go through this kind of things. Christian life…….. I wont blame on what is going on… 

Asking What Would Jesus Do.. 

ICU 21/01/10

Today an accident happen. Not in my life. But is our leader Douglas life.

It happen in his condo. His life was nearly threaten by electric shot. When he step in his house, his first aim was fixing his lamp which was hanging down. After trying to hang it back to the original height of the lamp, he still failed because of the wire has loosen its stretchable volume. Then he went into kitchen, took out the scissor to cut it out the wire which was hanging down to the dining table. As everyone saw what he is trying to do, we commented “Yeah,  new light”, “did you off the switch?” and etc..

Just in a sudden when he tried to cut off, electric runs through “Puffs!!!” Out of sudden, everyone was stone. As we can see, the electric just appear when he cuts it, and the scissor was on the floor. Panicking seeing Douglas, is he injured… Thank God he is still ok. still standing on the table, felt numb. Thank God that what he hold was half metal and half plastic scissor. As we can see the scissor is really burn out the metal part. Imagining, if it was whole metal scissor, Douglas is gone to heaven with God. :P

And ever felt for so long, laugh till cry during ice breaker session. Wonder why… Why on earth will it happen? some other reasons or I’m really that happy? Only God knows. Will pray bout it.

Everyone was present in this second meeting. Good.. :)

Night end

obligations

what we receive is an gift from God. What God provides, which u work on it, is a blessing from God. Working in God ministry is such a joy. No matter how hard we face, we still will face it with a happy heart, not with complaint, accused, or anything which we felt unsatisfied. Rejoice in it, because God gave us both hands and legs to work and to survive our own living. Giving back to God tithes and offering is a way we show how blessed we are. Blessed be.

God is always watching over you.

nice food after went to pasar malam. satisfy with the fried chicken and white rice from mum. ^^

hehe….

Oh no!!

big things had happen… I guess my left eye now is infected. Is getting blur, lots of tears, and eye shit…. yuck!!!

Y is this happen to me…????!!!!!~~!@!#@!#@%$#%

I hate it… Now i have to put medicine on both eyes. aiks…!!

Heal me Lord… Help…

Been around, here and there with Edmund for this week. Is good to see someone change their point of view or their attitude. Time is always needed. Is not a matter of prove to see, but is the everyday act that counts. Losing is not a problem. As long as, you know how to stand up when you fall. Learn from the mistake and start to learn again. Empty cup is a good cup. Where a cup is always full, they can’t learn or cope with something new. :D

 

And i felt sorry for the victim in earthquake again. It happens in Cuba, Haiti. 7.0 High. May God see us through. It will be the same again as in 1985, the snowy, rocky earth and etc.

sad malaysian

kinda disappointment to the malaysian act to the church. Eg: trying to burn down the church just because of “Allah” word used to proclaim as God in Christianity. But never the less, our Lord, our Provider, knows and control the situation.

May all the Christian with a forgiving heart, open minding, accepting what they have done. Be like God, having a heart of forgiveness.

Till now, this is the 9th building of churches has been on the newspaper. (Malaysia kini)

Infected

For the past few days, i been infected with an influenza case. That is conjunctivitis. Sigh… Everyone was so scared, even the kids, they know what’s wrong with me.

It happen on Sunday, where i woke up early for Sunday Service, i realized my eyes had been swollen.. It has not yet occurred red eyes or itchiness… I thought I was not enough of sleep.

and nothing much happen on the Monday morning. Still the same swollenness. Adding of watery in the eyes.

But till Tuesday morning, I realized it has grown to red. A quick reaction from me is, OMG!! Y always beginning of the year, I always get these kinda stuff.. Real Sweat… I even refusing to see doctor. Because I’m afraid of the prescript does not match me. But still, I was force to go on to see doctor, with aunty Connie, Christine, and even Agnes who willingly fetch me to the clinic. A good recommendation of clinic, which does cost me RM45 for the medicine and the eye antiseptic. It was so expensive. But lucky, is was on school bill. :P

The most touched stuff that i got is Eye Glo Drop for Edmund. He made his heart to present it to me in the school. Sort of a surprise to see him early in the morning with the stuff that i needed the most. God hear me? Well, part of.

My eyes is getting better each day. but still redness remain. Not enough sleep? Maybe…..

Addicted

I’m  addicted to you… by Enrique Iglesias and Simple Plan.

Yes!!! I really miss you. Since Christmas till today…..!!!! I long for you every hour, every minutes of my life. Time pass by, I wish i could see you every time i wake up. You are like my source of life. My energy provider. I even need you more during this time. This is the first time i see and hold you after so long..

 

I really miss you Nescafe COFFEE and Maggi Mee!!!

I’m Addicted to you!!!

 

p/s: it was just a joke. But i really need it to wake me up. :P

School start

Is kinda tired. cant manage to adjust my timing of sleep.

Slept at 8, woke up at 4.

Slept at 11, woke up at 6.

Slept at 10, woke up at 5.

 

Real sweat to my timing. Preparing stuff making me not enough sleep.

Well, went through 3 days of orientations. Seeing so many cry babies of 4 years old. Wondering how well will the teachers will be going to handle them. Luckily, I already escaped for 2 years (last year n this year). Headache seeing them. But some of them are real cute. XD

 

And i be handling class of last year 5 Patience. Now they are 6 Gentleness. Can see the notti last year 5 years old had grown up. They at least will listen to my words compare to others teachers. Is it that I’m fierce? Hehe… But it surprise some parents today as I was in charge of praying in the assembly. When they heard this teacher’s voice so loud, they feel “SYOK”!!.

Haha… whatever it is, i will try to handle some of the new comers for 5 Patience this year and even for 6 years old class. Many things to manage…….

argh!!! Try my best to rely on God bah!!!!

Home sweet home

At last, i reached home. After a week in Outbac, it seems very different. The feeling is like kampung girl, first time went out to town. It really felt different. From nature, small town to big city with tall building.

But most of all, i did not even miss home. Wonder why……

I had my enjoy week in Outbac, learn alot of knots, skills, and etc to be getting ready to MAPs. Hehe…. my next mission!!!

I went for my favourite shopping mall, Pavilion after get home and bath. Wow… That was syok!!

 

Actually, when coming back KL, i really wanted to change so of “………..”.

I do have a great dinner, movie time, but ended up all pathetic things happen again. Giving the answer also get in trouble. don’t give also the same. What You Wan Me To Do?????!!!!!!I fell so hurt!!! Darn It!!

Happy New Year

Yo!!!! is another new year comes. Years after years, times past so fast.

Zoom..... Here comes 2010..

Well, in Broga once again. Is my last night in here. And still i needed my sleep badly just because of New Year, and Hill Climb early in the morning.

It was amazing to see lots of people woke up, just to catch the New Year sunrise. Very enthusiasm.. Haha... So as we Outbac people. :P

Laziness making me tired. Is it? Haha... I guess so.

Erm.. So as the same activity in new year. Work, belayer, and etc. N to be proud, I'm incharge of showing people around.... Which the Dr. Yap told me to...

And surprisingly i know someone which is Dr. Yap Heng Kai's partner. She is Elizabeth Chai. Em... In Girls' Brigade, some people might know her. The Lieutenant from 1st PJ. Wow!!!! SO NGAM!!! Meeting officers in Outbac...... Haha... Should go and tell my captain. :P

Sort of sabotaging myself. Swt!!! =.="

Alright, wishes everyone a happy new year, with good wishes, good health, good education life, good this and that and etc. Love You so as God loves You too... ^.^