Drizzling

it felt so long that i did not walk under the rain and i did today. it was because i forgotten to put my umbrella in my bad. it was so nice.

Start to think back during primary school where, everyday, walk home under the rain. playing in the rain, and even flood in the school to cause us all to bare foot to keep our school clean and dry. So enjoying thinking back of the past.

But not much memories of under the rain during secondary school days. Though there is, but the capture is not that strong.

But i do cherish what God has made with rains. With it, we survive, we do not get burn by hot sun and hot temperature. So nice!!!

So bless…

mistake

days after days… argument still goes on.

but it seems quiet down ady for today..

really wonder what is in his mind.

everyday wan to fight for the same old past things of relationship, how good it is as last time to be as in couple, accusing me that i have alot of admirers, chat with guys non stop. love to hang out with my friends compare to him. and ETCS….

 

but kinda happy that he slowly slowed down to not to contact me. sometimes really wanted to sack him off in my life. because of his annoying and irritating attitude. Sigh… but i’m not this kinda people. I really want to stay pure as friend with him.

hopefully he will understand this sooner in his life. learn up the mistake. and yes, people who can’t cope with problems, they can’t learn from it.

many things had happen this week.

1) after BOIC, Edmund said, he will change the way he talk, act towards me. He thought I'm like his angel. He said to listen to my words.

2) A happy going life went on but it strike start on Friday. Argument happen. Because we have different thoughts in life, as his ideal job career, argument with boss and sorts.

3) Kinda happy because I went up to Genting for the first time of this year (I guess) with him. It was quite tired but i still went on outing with him because i felt different from him though i don’t want to let him have so much of hopes.

4) Why am i still forgiving him for all he done? WHY am i still so silly stupidGirl!!!!

 

I did return back the phone to Douglas, but I’m still not sure, he want me to repay a new one for him cause of the scratch mark i made.. If he don’t, I will buy Iphone and camera. If he wants I will just buy back a phone for him. and no camera. Sigh……

BOIC Training

well, had my Boic first camp training on 17 and 18 April. It held in FRIM.

It was exciting as it serve as Adventure Ministy (MAPs).

It was quite an early morning wake up. Getting ready, packing and etc preparing to go. Reached the place at 8.30am morning. Saturday morning! How I wish I could sleep more longer. But i couldn’t because of paid RM100 for it. Regret if I’m not going for it. Upon reaching sure argument with Edmund again la. Cause he is those kind who don’t like outing and never experience once about it. But i don’t care bout it. I just think of how to enjoy myself throughout the camp.

As usual, I’m the first one to arrive. Hehe.. Being proud of myself. Then came Samuel. As time pass, reaching 9am, seeing more and more people around. And we do wait till 9.30am to 10 am. Wow.. But is ok…

Then everyone introduce themselves as we waited at the front gate. Knew of their names Melissa, Joyce, Ameline (hope i spell correctly), Samatha, Bee Lee, Ian, and Lee Yen. Then we head to the place to get our weekend bike to travel in to FRIM and around the FRIM. I had choose my own bike number 5. Well, it follows me… ^.^ Enjoying the ride to our campsite. We been intro and games with ice breaker with each other before lunch. Everyone enjoying the ice break very much and get to know each other much more.

Then after lunch, we had to go for our obstacle race with our bike. Ride it up hill and down hill. Long, narrow and etc…. All using our own leg to cycle thru. It was a hard time where going up the hill. We go through 2 place. 1st is for easy training. 2nd is for real life experience.

Everyone felt the first trip was hard. But when we tried on the second hill, it was more challenging. Even harder. But there is a great treasure waiting for us on top of the hill, that is mini water fall. Is sorts of Spring of Living Water. Because we worked so hard to reach on top. It refresh everyone up there. It is cooling and breezy and even butterflies around makes the surround even more beautiful. It was awesome! and totally God’s creation.

And our hard work up, also makes a good results as we began to cycle down to the hill. :)

But it was good time for all to enjoy and knowing each other ability. helping each another. We went through a session of how to handle questions and answers. As in real training in MAPs. It is efficient. Then we have our solo hour session. It is a time where we reflect back what God has told us in our life. As in a life prayer, faith , favor with God. Or sort of chit chat time personally in the middle of the jungle alone with no lights and phones. What we can bring is our own heart and a mosquitoes coil. Is kinda creepy outside alone. With so many unfamiliar insects, animals and even leeches! Raindrop so scary… The water dripping. Movement in the bushes. But prayer keeps my 20 minutes goes faster. Was sitting down at the pogon. Not daring to move around. Thought of how good if I were in KL enjoying the lights. :P

Not forgetting to mention sweaty all day long till at night only took bath. Haha…

Then lights off.

Till exiting part in the early morning. Some ice break again to keep us awake. Took breakfast, then Tree Climbing! yea….!! Just a semi static rope tied with a Bight and a Bowline. That is how we climb up with an additional Prussic on our legs to step on. But too bad. Dr Yap, forgotten and replace the karabiners bag. So we took another Figure of 8 Bight and a single Prussic tied to our waistline. It was successfully made. And easy climb. :P 

Everything we played took a short time as they expected us to end late or taking even longer time to do it. We were all proud of ourselves. YEA!

Then we move on to the last that is Treasure Hunting for map. I’m excellent because I spotted mostly for the flags. Hoho..

Everything end at 3 something. Then we have a discussion again for topic. It took us nearly 2 hours for it. From then on, we move separately from our camp. Had everyone email from the previous mail but not phone number la. seems so oldies.. haha… I really enjoy at the end of it. Though i been bite by leech in the jungle before tree climb. But it worth, at least i had my first bite. ^.^

am getting more n more tired la from wat he gave me…

keep on pressuring me. asking me to treat him fair, wanting the best of me as in i need to do everything based on his feelings his is the first priority…

n i just can say sorry for i really cant do it.

If this still comes after this day of 3 months, I’m surrendering myself to God, and ask God to take care of him. real tired.

 

n hopefully God will recover and find those who have earthquakes again. Happening in China, 6.9. Have mercy on us please…

Unsatisfaction

comes from heart of his when he felt he is not being respected.

Well.. i can say is part of my wrong, being too hurried just to grab ticket for movie without knowing his feelings.

But what i did is for everyone. which he cant be understood of it. so no point explain of this. And i did told him, it was just a small matter where he will agree anyway of what kind of movie. And he say to make fuss, just because of i didnt ask. And made him mad when comes to ordering snack also. Saying don’t want to buy together with him, never cares of his feelings, this and that. Im getting fed up actually. Just i didn’t show out. Till in the cinema, sat at the place, message comes. it was from him. How silly it is, that i told him b4 that i hate such things. Where u still sms when i sit just around the corner. Waste of time, effort and not even respecting me too…

What do you say?

Revenge? No!

and sooner, argue comes because i don’t wan to see the sms from him. I was so mad. Sis sms arrive asking us not to argue cause there is other person still together with us. I would reply, I hope so. But my line is barred. So? He grab my phone and once again make me slap him directly at his face. He deserved it because there were warning lots of times. It is not the first time. His dissatisfaction is out then…. Wanting to see my phone who sms me.. And he guess is Andrew who did it. But too bad, i wont prove him right. It always been. Never change by his judging and even proven him right or wrong, this is his bad HABIT! And i did prove to him that he is wrong. Can see how much of unwillingness to accept the bet that i gave him by asking him to leave cinema if it was my sister. How stupid is this guy! Never ashame of himself.

And argue continue when i leave the cinema. Then he left. I just went out to have some peace of mind knowing i can’t continue the movie. Find a place to settle down myself and for lunch. But too bad. Calls keep on coming from him. Again dissatisfaction from him cause too much of sms that i did not reply. He felt guilty that is why he keep on calling.

In this world, if he or she don’t feel guilty, they wont even mention bout it. But how sadly it is…. Keep on Disturbing people till he is to let go. Never a sorry from him till at night..

Prayed to God asking is this happening to me. Why must this guy act till this way, and can’t listen to people’s word. Does he knows how to respect people at all? No idea. When he is happy, he do what he like. When he is unhappy, he will involve u along. What on earth! Y not he open his heart to make people happy when he is sad? Why must drag others along? a big question mark in my mind….

 

?

tribulation

it seems so many things happen in the world right now…

earthquake, curfew, politics, death of sudden, sickness and sorts…

it like the end of the world where tribulation is here.

pre, tri and post…

Today discussion is on Mark 16. where God is back to the world where He resurrected. He told Mary, he is back, no one believe. He met 2 disciples but still no one trusted them. At the end, when Jesus appear at the table meal, they all surprise and Jesus rebuke them.

It is all by faith… By the trust of the Lord, The Son and The Holy Spirit are real. That these day of Jesus come back to condemn the world. I believe that God has his way in every human life…

And this might be PRE….

 

Amen.

May Lord has His way to lead this world.

headache…

 

having argument everyday with him. it is like never ending.

I can surely say, he is the one who look for fight everyday. And i cant really take it anymore, sooner or later. I don’t know why do i need to be patience with him so much. It makes me sick and till the extend is ANNOYING and making me to avoid him more and more!!

What on earth is this man! Who keeps me going repeated for the same words, same phrases, same attitude from him! That is the most irritating!!

Argh…!!

When will he change for goods?

When will he know what he did was wrong?

When will he be real mature to understand people’s feeling?

When will it be???

As he said 3 months time? I’m saying impossible. Where by i said 2 years to see his changes. If still no, better stop bah… waste my time (it has already been less than 1 and half year!!)

promise again

things been thru.. sweet memories, love the kiss he gave me. love the hug he gave me. all around felt so comfort... dont even want to let go... but i know is all fated.
he still have his bad stuff and habits. i just cant go through with it.
felt unhappy everytime when he disagree me or go different wave length from me. It make me dislike. And my caution line is there whenever he came near. sigh...
hope he really change for goods as he promise 3 months time.
I shall then see...

shopping day again...

haha... over runfor shoipping as i thought nothing i could purchase again from mall.
Actually plan was to buy bras, swim wear, and 2 pair of shoes.
Then found out swim suit was so expensive. I went in to Roxy, don't dare to look at the price. As design is not really that nice. Then walk here n there to Sun Paradise, separate parts, each cost RM100++. Then i decide not to buy from it.
Walk n walk..... Went to Forever 21, em... have a look out, bought much item which cost more than RM200++. Inclusive of my swim wear only cost RM49, Hehe... Nice price. But mostly gone to the clothing.
Then, walk to next shop that is Cotton On. Bought 2 bras cost Rm75 only. Cheap le... so decide to buy since i already thought for long. Needed new one.
Then walk to Nose, to some shoes. Selected one of it, cause lack of money....

All i do was sticking to the plan, but over use. Haha... is alright le... Once in a while, to cheer myself up.
Hehe....
But i really need to keep up some money and not to spend so much cause i need money for scuba and future use. Hoping new things can come.

And sad things happen.... my adidas watch got broken. sob sob...... My one and only watch that i could wear out to work.... Sigh.. It was a gift from friend. But nevermind la.. It gotten 3 years already. It's time up. So have to let go and buy new one. Anyone wanna buy me? Em... think of it, but i don't think there is. Haha....

Maundy Thursday 2010

first day having my blog to be private... how does it feels? em...
curious mayb.. because is once in my life time i have decide that this is happening. Hehe...

Oh well... today is Maundy Thursday. The day where Jesus crucified and died and rose from the death. Indeed is a thanksgiving. That Jesus who died for us. Taking away all our sins. Bringing the pain of the world together. Im sure He will be here again. To see the world by coming like a thunder with clouds.. And the world will see amazing Him. N tat will be our crucification day.

So, wash your feet today as Jesus humble himself to wash away our feet. :)