argument still move on..

Long time didn’t update here. Been a month?

 

Well, argument still does happen. This is the second time where I hit him. and it is a real big fight.

I thought everything was going fine, yet, still the same old shit of adding back him in FB, and guys who called me.

I wonder why will he be so jealous of it. I really want to know what is the wrong with not adding him in FB. Just because he want to get recognize as my BF to my whole world?

Or he want to do it on purposely to compare with others? How others do, we also should be doing it also?

Why must he think of his own? He never thought of me? How I got scared by his last attitude where he deny and still saying he won’t act like last time where He will comment on my Wall and even my guys friend wall?

I really no idea.

Why does him need to care of my friend who wanna ask me out? He should know that I hardly go out  with any guys especially those he didn’t trusted. Only when he is willing not to get angry or even jealousy, I will bring him go together to meet my guys friends. Why he behave so naïve?

If he love me, why won’t he behave like an open minded man? Why must make himself like loser, where I felt he want to show people his POWER and EGO whereby, he can’t do and act like a man.

I really frustrated with all these. I don’t know how long as I could bear all these pain alone, all by myself.

If I don’t protect myself I hardly could voice out next time.

Shut up will kills me, talk more, it hurts me…

Pls God show me how to do…

Im in lost mood.

I really want to release all my stress, but I can’t.

I’m sorry as well for hitting him because I felt I’m defenseless. I’m so weak.

HELP…..

Life with Edmund sickness

Sometimes I'm quite mad about you, but sometimes,I wonder why I love you so much. A week before, we had quite a big fight. Is all related about 3rd party and sort of some my past which happen after me and him break up.
But is all over now.

Yet today is another where his sickness came. I dont know what to do. With pocket quite empty though still can survive till end month, but I still worried of him. He began to feel it yesterday and when I saw him after work, he began to feel tired with sleepy look and with big flu going on.
Actually, I insisted him to look for doctor. But he kept on rejecting. I wonder what I can do besides waking up in the middle of night to check his temperature and to wipe off his body heatness that start this morning.
No matter how hard it is, I will still try my best to take cRe of him because he is one and only person I couldn't afford to lose.