again and again… had a big fight with him not more than 2 weeks.

I’m injured again. this time is on my fingers. 2nd and 4th and my wrist. (not mistaken my elbow as well).

It felt the ache on my body again. and soon… it will be in pain again. don’t know how long to last right now.

it all started saying I talk to him with not a good tone. I acted to be cool.. My problem of talking to him. Which was according to him.

Im just answering what he asked and giving him a choice to choose. But all ended up, when guided him, he started the fire….

When being nice, telling him stuff, he ignored and acted like he know. If he knows, things won’t ended up so badly.

Choosing of leaving again of course…..

yea… I try to ask him to leave, but he couldn’t do it. So what can I do?

Defamed me here and then when he packed. Trying to say I’m this and that…

Ended up… more fight had been going on.

 

I hate man saying my past.

- got bitten

- got others

- defamed me

- I’m a bitch, slut and woman not worth to be with.

 

And as well, he pushed me down for many times in this fight. Which made me more angry and hate all this pushy stuff. Still kids? U don’t like, u can push? Is called idiot!

To be honest, I wack and slap his face is because he never listen and scream at me. The rest, I do was just being self defense.

What’s the different between slapping a person and pushing a person for few times? It is still the same because the heart is in pain.

 

Actually I’m really tired and sick of this relationship. I’m too confused sometimes. Is he really loving me or torturing me. I just don’t want to heart over obsessed with love. Is call stupid!!

I’m really tired.

Last trip on 2011

There are a bit of missing Christmas after going through it. Still waiting for Christ to come.
The Christmas luncheon went successfully. Everyone had a good stomach for it. Pictures taken with Pastor Charles leaving. Everyone miss him too. It quite sad seeing a brother leaving soon.
But we still support his decisions.
After Christmas, me and Edmund had a small trip to Cameron Highland. Planning for 2 days and 1 night after Christmas. It was his first time been there. Leaded him to a stranger place. Hehe..
He couldn't adapt with the condition and temperature there. It was real cold at night. Haha.. At first, he doesn't even thought of bringing jacket. Well, luckily he did.
Went looking for scones, but all closed for holiday. The only scones left was expensive in Bharatea centre. RM16 for 2 scones added with a drink will be RM 22. Yucks! Real expensive makes us not to try.
We just went round and round in the Tanah Rata town looking for tea time food. Guess, we just went to Jasmine Cafe. Expensive cafe as well, but still delicious. Had stomach full and head back to ivory hotel which we paid and book earlier on cost RM 169. Rested and waiting for dinner time again.
This time we went up to Brinjang for steamboat. First thought was to try Charcoal steamboat, but is a little far and expensive as well, we just stay in Brinjang for normal one. See how big is our meal!
Then we head back to hotel. Since there are no activities at night. Edmund just bought a card to play. Ended our night around 11.
Continue our day light next morning around 9++. Check out, Head back to Tanah Rata for breakfast in mamak. Simple and cheap! After food, journeys continue to Kea Farm. To see cactus, flowers, strawberries, bees, and etc.
All after this, we head to Ipoh town to buy back salted chicken for dinner at home. Visited the famous one to buy Lou Poh biscuit and chicken.
The journey continue back home reading GPS, driving fast and slow. Seeing rain here and there, cars along the highway, there be boring and yet is Fun at certain time.
This considering the last trip in 2011. And is the first trip with Edmund alone. At least he been out for first. He knows what he should be planning an doing on trip. Thank God! He grow another year older.

Happy Birthday 26th

my birthday finally is over and I’m 26th on 2012.

 

What a surprise that I grown up again on my age.

Counting days, weeks, months and years.

Times really flies….. There are no way to stop the time. But only when Jesus is here again, he will stop everything.

Now waiting for Christmas! Then his birthday!

 

Indeed I do have a simple yet enjoyable birthday.

Have a small celebration dinner with friends on the 17th. It was actually planned by Edmund. Gathered May Ping, Wendy, Alwyn, Jesny, Seng Wan and his friends. These are considering best buddy for now.

Things had change since I’m not close with my secondary friends anymore. But to keep in mind, my primary friends still remembering my day.

^.^ kINDA happy.

After dinner, we just went for a drink. I propose, Zouk. Then we had a drink in Terrance Bar. Watching clubbers go in and out from the party room. Is quite nice atmosphere actually.

Night ended just that way with friends.

 

On Sunday, is my actual date. I’m the coffee host for this day (18). Preparing scones that I bought from Rachel (Teaffani) everyone loves it. Enjoy the English breakfast with tea. And I’m kinda happy receiving so much good comments from church members.

Well, worth it even though is quite expensive English breakfast which cost nearly RM 370.00. Haha… What to do, is only once a year that I will be the host. I take it as a blessing from the Kindie and from those who take good care of me. After clearing everything, we head for lunch in Scott Garden. seeing cute dogs.. All around. I <3 it.

Lunch while discussing the next week Christmas Luncheon. Had fellowship after that in ‘Teh Tarik’ café with nice environment. Edmund and Andrew ordered me a ice cream cake. Haha.. So many cakes for me in this year. Total 3 cakes. One from Kalai, One from May Ping and Wendy, and last one from YWA.

After Teh Tarik, we went home for a sleep to rest our self. and head to Terence (Edmund’s Squash friend) Wedding dinner. Is happy to see Edmund with his friends. Even some of them known me and my name. They do sang me a birthday song because Edmund said is my birthday as well together with another friend of his birthday.

 

Very good year I guess. Everything goes smoothly. With Edmund saying He <3 me very much. can’t losing me..

Updates

Left only one day for me to be 25th. Yet I wonder what and how would my first term of 26th.

Counting and counting… Day pass fast. It has reach another year end.

 

1) I already resigned from Kindergarten due to management problem.

Just couldn’t take it. Why must management people look upon $$ terms. Sigh… At least I still got another work… Thank God as well because He has granting me this job. Back as a designer.

 

2) relationship with Edmund – still goes up and down… Sometimes good, and sometimes are really bad.

It happen last 2 weeks, argued ended up, chair broken, door spoiled, my Iphone cable broken, tv remote broken (cause by me because I started to throw things first).

It all happen of my heart dissatisfaction. A lot of reasons why. But the most cause me my anger is his attitude of lacking of memory, and doesn’t even bother of things around.

He couldn’t take care of surround. Maybe lack of Focusing?? or Concentration towards my things??

I’ll try to accept it after everything ends in a bad way. And of course, he is asking for leaving. What will I do? Of course I asked him to stay la.

How can I leave without a driver? hahahha… (jokin nia)

 

3) Heart kinda miss a lot of things. Which with him and without him. A lot that I had been left out and leave behind because of him. I have to pull 2 of us equally. And I did my sacrifice.. >.<

Poor me… I should deserve better de ah!!!! Saying like real bad.

 

Well… these are my updates.

 

Happy Birthday Soon!.

Work and relationship

In in the positifnya of dont know what to say. I'm kinda confused, stress and lost in my life. All related to work and relationship. What's more? Only these always come. Here I felt my challenge, my difficulties in life.

Work : kindie has been delaying my request appraisal. I have asked for rm1200 for my basic. Then they just try to give me hope, till ended up they gave me one lumpsum of rm1200.

I guess, is better that I leave because of transport problem and the admin work of which will be loaded because I have also be taking principal's work.

Relationship : on behalf of this, I really speechless. All that I required to to take effort to know my situation, understand me, and to take care of me.

But he kept on mentioning of my past! A difficult challenge! He want his request on me to be done! how of mine? Mine are simple compare to him! I didn't ask for past! If I can, I won't be who I am today! I really hope to slap him at certain times. I wonder how and why I still love this kinda of man.
For everyone is like wasting time. I knew I can't compare because all these were chosen by me. Sigh...
Always say didn't ask for argument but indeed he himself raise up his word first. What can I say? Smile with you everyday then u be good? Or u will listen? Remember you are not kids! Kids can cheer me up by every single moment but I wonder why.... I guess I have to accept the fact.


Over all are chaos!!!