Worst part

Dear Love Letter,

I'm willing to enter into relationship/marriage if you are able to maintain or sustaining a job with a fixed income. It really can't denied that u still have a part in me. No matter how, you are the one whom I can feel love from. The love that you pour is unusual love. The spirit you have for me is lively. Nothing can be compared. It seems so colorful when I feel in touch with you. No doubt there was a time, I felt boring and annoyed by you. Things you did seems make me unhappy at a time. Things has been change for so many years. Nodding means yes to loving your endless companion but Sickening heart of seeing you like a loser or someone who don't try to work out hard for life. The only thing I couldn't see is the security in and of the future. I couldn't bear to see my life while and after committed end up in such despair without working out to be and having a better future  with someone I love. All I wanted is not from mouth, but things from hand. The outcome of the work of our hand to strive for better future to have a better earning. I want my family to be insecure in-terms of money and enough for living, enjoy and relaxation. Isn't that the most simplest things in woman life? Wish to be love with the one who love them the most and to give them the best and fullness in life?

I wish for a better ending to strive together. Proving it to me first would be the best options because I was once disappointing by you. The first disappoint that you made was your first promise. I did let you tried for many times to prove to me, but ended up, I can't take and bear it. Is so painful. Is so memorable memoirs.




I really couldn't understand yours.

Thanks for your abundant care and love.

Love sincerely,
tamz18

U have grown to be mature, strong, steady and even know your direction of life. You made me proud because is part of me that made you to be like this. I'm truly give thanks for what you become. Is my honor to say that you are good and secure now. If only I met you now, things would be different, very much different no it be good nor bad. Yup. Life needs to move on. We can't stagnant there forever, if not, we will get stuck in a place forever. No matter how it moves on, you are still my memories. No doubt I will still think about you, but it brings no meaning. Happy is in the heart. You are the 2nd things I hardly let go.

Wanna know my first ? If you know me well, you will know it. Here's the clue. Thing that I let go in 10 years ago which is most precious to God. =)

Cheers! 


P/S: And I do ask my self, how come you still read my blog? em....
Thanks for letting me know that you read my message.

Christmas 2013

I couldnt feel much joy and significant that it is the Lord birth. But I do remind myself that God gave away His son for us on this special day with deliverance from Mary. But it begins with EVE, working day like normal. Wanting to get half day, but I failed and till normal off hour. Reached to his place for dinner, and he wouldnt spend time with me to go through Christmas.
Then no choice but I have to go home and do my wrapping as I could not have enough time to do it because of Pastor Joe's presentation of 60th Anniversary of LCMS.

It leave me no choice but to do last minute wrapping. And it took me the whole night for me to go through with my gifts. Big and small, all came with candle and a deco. Not a easy task to do the wrapping. But I manage to finish on time before I go to church. And Start my morning service late because I was dily-dely my time and goes off at 8.30am. Reached at church and got morning call to go and buy Vicks for Pastor Joe.

And here i miss the morning worship. But worship is not about songs but about the whole process of servicing God. Thank for it, I made it for Bible reading time. Then words, baptism and end of service.

After service, while waiting for worship team to meeting, many presents were given and received. Then in time of waiting, Im walking around and suddenly hand grip loosen and there goes my Iphone. At last it got broken the screen. Sigh... My first biggest Christmas gift this year. Was thinking, should I change glass or should I just change phone. Sigh..........

Then after their meeting, we went for lunch in Wongkok, Scott Garden. The place was good, cheap and less people. Good for whole cell to be there. While waiting, I'm thank God as well because he joined in to lunch together. Although less chat, I could see he is damn boring and always pressing the phone. I asked him to leave as waiting for Melissa to end Chinese Service. It was a long service they had. And I'm kinda sleepy..

It took me a sleepy drive home as I couldnt bear and take the sleepiness out of my head. Kept on hitting myself to awake. Nearly close my eyes and put the wheels off road. =P
And Thank God that I reached home safe enough and sleep soundly right after. Hehe.....
There ends my day sleeping in Christmas and light dinner at home.

Today's feeling

Today, my heart was kinda sad. Don't know why. I'm so negative of all things and I'm not really in mood to work. After some lil crazy chat with someone, I became more crazzy..
I can't really concentrate on work for the first time. Thoughts running wild in brain. Not working but just lingering around at work place. I felt bad for what I'm doing. Even my boss is like that.
Haha.. Funny and crazy crazy went through a day.
But around night time, I'm kinda happy and being positive again because I received his message, all the way from Bangkok. Not to say I'm worried or anything. Just the heart so down without a word from him. I jump my face into joy. I really could feel that myself. I just felt I couldn't make it without him even though i told myself to stay strong.
But most of all thank u Ed, for your support. Kindy appreciated. U did cheer me up, but not so much. At least  the cheer is there. Tears drop again when u cheer me up. Thanks.

I'm declaring I won't give up on anything for now! I will stay strong for now. I will try to pursue what I feel like is mine! Thanks my dear and people around.

Happy Birthday 26th

my birthday finally is over and I’m 26th on 2012.

 

What a surprise that I grown up again on my age.

Counting days, weeks, months and years.

Times really flies….. There are no way to stop the time. But only when Jesus is here again, he will stop everything.

Now waiting for Christmas! Then his birthday!

 

Indeed I do have a simple yet enjoyable birthday.

Have a small celebration dinner with friends on the 17th. It was actually planned by Edmund. Gathered May Ping, Wendy, Alwyn, Jesny, Seng Wan and his friends. These are considering best buddy for now.

Things had change since I’m not close with my secondary friends anymore. But to keep in mind, my primary friends still remembering my day.

^.^ kINDA happy.

After dinner, we just went for a drink. I propose, Zouk. Then we had a drink in Terrance Bar. Watching clubbers go in and out from the party room. Is quite nice atmosphere actually.

Night ended just that way with friends.

 

On Sunday, is my actual date. I’m the coffee host for this day (18). Preparing scones that I bought from Rachel (Teaffani) everyone loves it. Enjoy the English breakfast with tea. And I’m kinda happy receiving so much good comments from church members.

Well, worth it even though is quite expensive English breakfast which cost nearly RM 370.00. Haha… What to do, is only once a year that I will be the host. I take it as a blessing from the Kindie and from those who take good care of me. After clearing everything, we head for lunch in Scott Garden. seeing cute dogs.. All around. I <3 it.

Lunch while discussing the next week Christmas Luncheon. Had fellowship after that in ‘Teh Tarik’ café with nice environment. Edmund and Andrew ordered me a ice cream cake. Haha.. So many cakes for me in this year. Total 3 cakes. One from Kalai, One from May Ping and Wendy, and last one from YWA.

After Teh Tarik, we went home for a sleep to rest our self. and head to Terence (Edmund’s Squash friend) Wedding dinner. Is happy to see Edmund with his friends. Even some of them known me and my name. They do sang me a birthday song because Edmund said is my birthday as well together with another friend of his birthday.

 

Very good year I guess. Everything goes smoothly. With Edmund saying He <3 me very much. can’t losing me..

holiday mood

wow… holiday begin…

is just a week but is worth much more than enough after 2 months of working without a day rest from public holiday. Is kinda stressful working with children. And sometimes is fun when they do listen to you.

Oh well… this week is a rest week but have to do exam evaluation paper. Sigh.. Stress also la…

 

But I’m happy that I can go to cruise in Penang with a bunch of teacher. Is really a God blessing that made all of us to have enough cabins, sufficient money for the trip. Thanks to Aunt Connie for her to work so hard to get our benefits. And to God who is so great enough to let us to have an enjoyable trip.

 

After cruise it is Raya on the following 2 days. No place to go… Boring gua.. But I will be sure to enjoy Emptiness of Kuala Lumpur. ^.^

 

God Bless.

Maundy Thursday 2010

first day having my blog to be private... how does it feels? em...
curious mayb.. because is once in my life time i have decide that this is happening. Hehe...

Oh well... today is Maundy Thursday. The day where Jesus crucified and died and rose from the death. Indeed is a thanksgiving. That Jesus who died for us. Taking away all our sins. Bringing the pain of the world together. Im sure He will be here again. To see the world by coming like a thunder with clouds.. And the world will see amazing Him. N tat will be our crucification day.

So, wash your feet today as Jesus humble himself to wash away our feet. :)

what am i to you?

where am i to you?

who am i to you?

when will you be the one?

how important am i to you?

this is the 4w's and 1h

Surprisingly, yesterday in Redbox Plus, Pavilion, i was holding the mic for the whole night just to sing songs. To those who knows me, they will feel surprise because i never wanting to hold it more then 2 songs. Indeed is a good night when i release all my breath in the room. Everything is just fine and i did enjoy my night, though is only 3 friends with me. I’m satisfy!

 

Thank you Khong Sin, for buying me a cute little small cake which is enough for me alone to eat it. It is the second time that she made a cake appear on my birthday. :)

Thank you Pui Yee for coming and selected every song for me, sing with me, and laugh together.

Thank you Suet Yin your willingness to come even though you have to help out your mum at stall. I love you!

 

Specially thanks to those who wishes me, calling, sms, and etc. You guys are great! May God bless you all too!!

 

Agape.

did some one try to hack my password…

strange.. i guess there is..